WOULD LOVE ALWAYS BRING THEM BACK?

You wanted it to go and now it has gone, why are you sobbing? The heart is fickle, it battles with so many things at the same time. It is the embodiment of emotions and when that emotional roller coaster ride sets off it is the heart that bears the brunt. A young man was in bed asking himself what he had done wrong to feel this kind of pain again. It was that kind of pain he hadn’t felt since the last time he got his heart broken by a lady he had pledged his life and love to.

It was 2005 and he had just finished the mandatory national youth service. He returned to school for a master’s degree program. Because he had resumed late he couldn’t secure an accommodation in the school’s hostels. He decided to stay with his girlfriend in her apartment. Now, this would have been a fantastic idea back then when he was an undergraduate, when the girl was completely in love and grateful to him for loving her despite all her ugly pasts.

Despite having had 2 abortions with her ex-boyfriend…and that was before clocking 22 years, and remained in a very dysfunctional relationship with her ex for almost half a decade, he still loved her like his world and breath depended on her love. But all that had changed after they had dated for about 3 years and he was completely consumed by his young lover whom he trusted even with his life. They were known together on campus, they were nominated and won the faculty awards for best couple.

But all those were gone by the time he returned from his service year. She was done, it was all over... she had gotten over his love and merely accommodated him. She had found a new life and was willing to explore the new her. She was all about following older men and keeping multiple flirtatious relationships. At this time she was in her final year in the university and had discovered another version of herself….a version she was willing to explore to the fullest.

Obviously, he had no space in this new chapter of her life. Therefore, him staying in her apartment was certainly a discomfort, one which she wasn’t going to endure for long. She almost immediately began to disrespect him. Obviously, she knew that was the only way to get under his skin. He had learnt from his father that self-esteem and respect were some of the things a man must never compromise. It wasn’t too long before the relationship got really sour.

He moved out of her room and got another apartment with one of his undergraduate classmates who was also back for a post graduate program. He kept in touch with her but the relationship gradually went down the cliff and he was totally heart broken. He cried most nights, he had no appetite for food and hardly could concentrate in class. It was a bad blow and he obviously had no response to what hit him. He resorted to begging her to come back but she was done with him and his love. She had moved on and was very unwilling to look back again, no matter how much he was hurting.

Eventually, he summoned the courage to move on with his life and had a few really good friends - males and females, who were willing to listen to his story. He shared his pains with them and one of them said to him that: “when a woman is fed up there is really nothing you can do to win her back. If she comes back it will only be based on pity and it is only a matter of time before she leaves you broken again”.

This was a lesson he had to hold on to for the rest of his life. He vowed never to beg a woman that is tired of his love and attention for a comeback. Another friend told him that: “ladies don’t leave when they still want and love you, they hang in there for as long as they can, sometimes they hang on for as long as a week, a month, years or even till death do you part”. That is how ladies operate. 

Love doesn’t bring them back, rather, love prevents them from leaving!........to be continued