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FRIENDS AND CRITICS

Perception is everything. So when you see friends as critics, words received from them are seen as brutal "criticisms". But words received from friends seen as true friends are fair “Assessments”. The friends you see as critics are less likely to be the ones you run to when you have “great” ideas. Be it a business idea or an idea about anything. Why?... you don’t want anybody shoving down your throat how it won’t work, how it has been done before, how it is a razz idea, how it will require major investments. And when they don’t want to sound too discouraging, they push you a bone and say, well! Let’s try it and see how it goes shaa! I know we sometimes hear people talk about positive criticism, but I think it is easier said than felt. When the attack is on another person it is easier to tell them to take heart and view everything from a positive light. The truth is that criticisms are hard to take. Hearing people tear your ideas down can’t be easy at all. It can totally w

JUST BEFORE YOU LEAVE - A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW!

She woke up to a queer feeling. It felt like a day of mistrust, but she wished the signals away. As she headed straight to the office on that day, she had so many thoughts running through her head. Her appetite wasn’t at its normal level. She experienced a little hormonal imbalance but she wasn’t still sure of how to feel about all those queer feelings. As she settled in, it all began the usual way, they had their private chats and acted in their usual discrete manner. They were secret lovers – ordinary coworkers in the day but deep lovers at night. He liked the arrangement, probably more than she did. But she had set the rules, she wanted the discrete affair because that worked for her better. Obviously, she didn’t want the office drama….who would want that anyways? He was younger than her by about 3 years and was about 2 levels below her rank at the office. He knew how to make her happy but that wasn’t going to be sufficient cover for the drama that might ensue if people in the

WOULD LOVE ALWAYS BRING THEM BACK?

You wanted it to go and now it has gone, why are you sobbing? The heart is fickle, it battles with so many things at the same time. It is the embodiment of emotions and when that emotional roller coaster ride sets off it is the heart that bears the brunt. A young man was in bed asking himself what he had done wrong to feel this kind of pain again. It was that kind of pain he hadn’t felt since the last time he got his heart broken by a lady he had pledged his life and love to. It was 2005 and he had just finished the mandatory national youth service. He returned to school for a master’s degree program. Because he had resumed late he couldn’t secure an accommodation in the school’s hostels. He decided to stay with his girlfriend in her apartment. Now, this would have been a fantastic idea back then when he was an undergraduate, when the girl was completely in love and grateful to him for loving her despite all her ugly pasts. Despite having had 2 abortions with her ex-boyfriend

TOILETS: THE BINDER OF RELATIONSHIPS?

A writer once described toilets as the window into the secret soul of a destination. Some believe a lot can be said about a place by its bathrooms/toilets. A lot can also be said about people’s behaviour in a given society by their toilets.    Architectural designs for toilets have evolved since the last twenty years. So also has the social interactions surrounding the use of toilets. The complexities or otherwise surrounding the toilet mirror the ubiquity of the different names by which toilets are described. Some call toilets bathrooms, lavatories, loo; bog, khasi, thuner bov…You can add your own name to the list. Shitting can be more complex than you think. Forget how easy it seems to sit on your toilet seat in that en-suite apartment where all the rooms have private loos. It was not always like that. In the late 80s when 3 bed room flats had only one toilet and bathroom…my cousin can relate very well to this. Growing up, most middle class families lived in this kind of accommo

Banking: A Seductive, Cruel and Transactional Relationship

Being a banker is not as easy and glamorous as the suits make it look. It is actually a seductive, cruel and transactional relationship. There is nothing personal about banking. You are only as good as your next target. And the only thing you are sure of is your last pay cheque. It is in banking that you get to truly appreciate the saying that “the reward for hard work is more work”. Because the motive of banking is to make profit, there is huge room for corruption and high handedness. Targets are sometimes set without objective rationale. How to meet the target is nobody’s business, just go out there and meet the numbers. It is usually a brutish affair once it comes to meeting targets. Now, for the seductive part of banking… The portrayal of a flashy and trendy lifestyle, one where bankers drive nice, brand new cars, go for holidays overseas, spend without checking price tags, wear really nice suits, make big tips and the wave of that Debit/credit card… It all sounds so appealin

My Love, My Race, My Escape!

Some people say nothing to those they love when time is still on their side. But when they are gone, they start to miss one another.   Perhaps we all assume we have all the time to breakup and then makeup. Or we assume there are special times to say what we really mean – still searching for the best time. There is nothing like the best time, just say it while you can because it could be too late by the next tick of the clock. We are really the same, male or female. We have the same needs– love, food and shelter. We all have fears, secrets; flaws, but we still hold on to hope and belief. We tend to cling to those that come to our rescue when it feels like the world has come to its end. If you ask me what my escapes are, I would say they are pretty much like yours. Drugs, alcohol, food; sex, books, movies, music, dance, perhaps work and good conversation, we pretty much pick from the same basket of choices. We run to utopia giving total submission to a force much greate

BBNaija: Sex sells, ask Miracle

Miracle was the sex symbol in the BBN house. Is that why he won? Well let’s analyze that a bit. If you observe closely, most luxury items have “sensual” appendages. The appendage could be image(s) of almost or completely naked lady. Sometimes a "Well-built" semi-naked guy. Car races, tobacco adverts, music videos, and fashion adverts are major “brands” with such symbolisms. In fact, I once saw a razor blade advert with a half-naked lady – that was the most ridiculous of them all.   So when Miracle, hooked up with Nina and became adventurous with her body, we knew he was playing the sex card. Then he did what most African ladies admire – he remained faithful to her. Being a fine young pilot, with special interest in Mr Flavour and Teckno’s songs and dance style, it was only a matter of time before he became the darling of most female viewers. The symbolism of sex is a strong marketing tool. There is nothing new about this discovery as it has been around since the days